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Oldies is an episode of Randomness Everywhere.

Plot

Everything becomes a black-and-white cartoon.

Transcript

(AT PAPER'S HOUSE)

Paper: And that is why Knock Knock Jokes should NEVER be taken literally.

(DELETED SCENE)


Doorknob: I know you remember that ONE incident. May I remind you to NEVER DO THAT JOKE AGAIN.

(FLASHBACK)

(GUY CHASES THE CAST HOLDING A CHAINSAW)

(FLASHBACK ENDS)

Paper: Oh, yeah...


(DELETED SCENE ENDS)

Doorknob: Why are you still talking about this?

Paper: I'm bored, okay?

Doorknob: Anyways, I'm gonna go see "The Revenge of the Guy Who Didn't Use Toilet Paper 3".

Paper: What? That's the most boring movie in the WORLD! And sequels suck anyways. I'm gonna go watch TV.

Doorknob: Your loss. (walks out the house)

(Doorknob drives to the movie theater)

Doorknob: One ticket to "The Revenge of the Guy Who Didn't Use Toilet Paper 3"

Box Office Guy: SOLD OUT. *Explodes*

Doorknob:.....watjusthappened.

Car: EVERYTHING HAPPENED.

(meanwhile)

(Paper is watching an old black-and-white cartoon)

Paper: THIS IS BORING

Cat on TV: Remember, folks! Always remember to watch for your watch!

Paper:...

(Cat jumps out of TV)

Cat: LISTEN HERE, MY SHOW IS GOOD AND ALWAYS WILL BE! GOT IT?!

Paper: I still think it's boring. All you do in this show is talk about vegetables.

Cat: YOU THINK BLACK-AND-WHITE IS BORING, DO YOU?! WELL MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LEARN A LESSON!

(Paper gets sucked into the TV, and ends up sucking the universe into the TV too.)

(Everything is the same as it was in reality, but everything is in black-and-white)

Paper: What?! WHAT IS THIS PLACE?! And why does everything have faces on them?

Sun: DERHERDEEERRRR

Fire Hydrant: HAHAHAHAHA (Dog comes by) O_O

Cloud: WOOHOOOOOO

Paper: I gotta find Doorknob's Dad! He's the second writer for the show "The Good Old Times in Black-And-White and All That Crap".

(Car suddenly appears)

Paper: Car? Is that You?

Car: (PUNCHES PAPER REPEATEDLY)

Paper: OW! HEY! Oh wait, cartoons used to be violent in the old days...

Car: HEY PUNK. THIS BROCCOLI MAKES ME STRONG FOOL.

(Paper steals the broccoli)

Paper: I need this for later.

(shooting is heard at a saloon)

Paper: WHAT?! (runs to the saloon)

Ol' Bad Guy: THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID DANCE FOR ME! (shoots ground under bartender)

Bartender: PLEASE HAVE MERCY.

Paper: STOP RIGHT THERE!

(Cat shows up)

Cat: Well well well, look who shouldn't had been poking around in somebody else's territory...

Paper: YOU! (chokes Cat) TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE.

Cat: The key is violence. And I have it right here! (holds up a key)

Paper: GIMME THAT.

(Paper steals the key)

Cat: It's a figure of speech, you idiot.

Paper: Idiot? Look who's talki-

(Cat punches Paper)

Paper ARGH!

(A fight ensures)

Paper: Wait a minute...I HAVE BROCCOLI-

(Cat steals broccoli and key)

Cat: I'll take that. (throws key and broccoli in Ol' Bad Guy's mouth) Defeat Ol' Bad Guy to get out of this cartoon.

Paper: Okay-

(Screen immediatley cuts to Paper in the hospital)

Paper: PAIN!

Doorknob: *walks in* Hi, Paper!

Paper: HI DOORKNOB. (instantly heals)

Doorknob: What th-

Paper: Doorknob, we gotta defeat this bad person so that we can get out of here!

Doorknob: Nope. *Vanishes*

Paper:...This day is getting weirder and weirder every second.

(1 second later)

(explosion happens)

Paper: ...Very weird. (somehow teleports to Ol' Bad Guy)

Paper: ARGH THIS IS SO IRRITATING!

Ol' Bad Guy: DUHHH...I'MMA BEAT YOU UP.

Paper:...Okay....but I'll stop y-

(We cut to Paper in the hospital again)

Paper: ARGHHH!!!

Doorknob: Hey dude, here's a feel better gift.

(Doorknob holds up broccoli)

(The broccoli falls out of Doorknob's hand)

Doorknob: NO.

Paper: GIMME DAT BROCCOLI.

Doorknob: Still need to defeat that bad guy?

Paper: Yes.

Doorknob: TOO BAD.

(Doorknob vanishes, accidently dropping the broccoli)

Paper: Sweet!

(Paper grabs the broccoli)

(Doorknob suddenly appears and grabs the broccoli and disappears again)

Paper: ARGH I HATE THIS PLACE.

(MEANWHILE)

Paper's Dad: HEY LOOK. THE TV IS ON AND PAPER'S IN IT. HI SON. Oh, the TV is on. TIME TO WATCH THE GAME. (Paper's Dad switches the channel to football.)

(Paper shows up in the football channel)

Paper: Augh, finally. I'm away from that-

(A football lands in Papers hands)

Paper: What the? Oh, crud. *Sees a bunch of people about to tackle him*

Paper's Dad: I don't think this episode is about oldies anymore...

(Cat appears inside a football helmet)

Cat: Hmm, you didn't request what I said. I'm pulling the plug and sending us both into transmission. (Cat pulls the plug out of the TV, sending the two into a black screen)

Paper: What the?

Cat: Now we finish this. Say that the olides were good cartoons, or else I'll-

Paper: You'll WHAT?

Cat: I'll...uhh...hmmm... HERE I'LL SHOW YOU SOME GOOD ONES.

(Cat gets out a TV remote and changes the black screen to real old cartoons)

Paper:....

Mickey Mouse: HIYA, KIDS!

Cat: Amused yet?

Paper: No.

(Cat switches to multiple channels, while Paper is sitting on a couch eating Cheese Doodles)

(TVs disappear)

Cat: ...Okay... (clears throat) WE'RE DOOMED.

Paper: You're the one who sent us here, and YOU'RE the one who's gonna get us out!

Cat: I DON'T KNOW HOW!

Paper: Okay, you thought up the TVs, right?

Cat: Yes, this is my mind.

Paper: We might as well just wait for somebody to come and rescue us.

(ONE SECOND LATER)

(bags of Cheese Doodles are on the couch as Paper is eating them, while watching old cartoons)

Cat: WE'REDOOOOMMMMEEEDDD

Paper: Wait. This is your mind, right?

Cat: Si.

Paper: The you can just make a portal outta here!

Cat: CERTAIN LIMITATIONS OF MY MIND DO NOT ALLOW ME TO. HUZZAH.

Paper:...We're doomed.

(Suddenly, a portal appears)

Cat: I LIED. MWWHAHAHAH.

(Portal disappears)

Cat: And the portal can only appear for one second.

Paper: UGH!

Cat: ONLY ONE THING WE CAN DO NOW.

...

Cat: SOMEBODY HELP US.

Paper: SOMEBODY. SOMEBOODDYYY.

(Suddenly, Gold appears)

Gold: Finally! I'm in this episode!

TBA.

Writers

State your username here to be a writer

  • Chromebolt
  • IAmBagel
  • HomestarSB9

Trivia

  • Cat's appearance was designed after Shefield, one of Chromebolt's cats.

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