This article may contain strong violence and/or suggestive dialogue. It is strongly suggested for mature audiences. Reader discretion is advised.
Lord Byzantine's Island Adventure is a movie in which Lord Byzantine goes on some sexual (and some not) missadventures with the inhabitants of the Placentos Islands .
Plot Lord Byantine was on a ship, not uncommon for the ghostly being. However his ship crashed in the Placento's Islands (a group of islands in the middle of the pacific ocean.) Upon his arrival there he is greeted by a islander.
(Lord Byzantine wakes up on a beach the sun has nearly disappeared from the sky. It is very dark, and the sky is a dark purple)
Lord Byzantine: Urgh
Lord Byzantine: *rubs his head* where am I?
(Lord Byzantine looks around)
Lord Byzantine: Oh buggery! My crew is all dead!
(enter Native, an old fellow. White skin, white hair, strong build)
Lord Byzantine: Me?
Native: Yes you! I wasn't talking to the coconuts here!
(Lord Byzantine gets to his feet and walks to the Native)
Lord Byzantine: Who are you? Where am I?
Native: Name's Skipper, Don't wear it out, as for where you are I don't really know.
Lord Byzantine: Oh alright then Skipper, my name's Lord Byzantine.
Skipper: Eh? You some kind of royalty?
Lord Byzantine: Well from where I come from-
Skipper: So ye wants to know where you are?
Lord Byzantine: Yes, but I thought you didn't know where we were.
Skipper: Technically. I know where we generally are. Not the island though.
Lord Byzantine: Spit it out old man! I don't have an eternity! Actually, I do little joke there.
Skipper: Eh, so you wanna know where you are? Where you truly are? Well you be at none other than the famous Placento's Islands!
Lord Byzantine: Never heard of them.
Skipper: What? But they be world famous!
Lord Byzantine: Well I ain't ever heard of them! Neither has the audience so explain it to them!
Skipper: The what? Well anywho- The Placento's Islands are above the equator in the pacific ocean, about as far away from the equator as panama.
Lord Byzantine: Well, thanks Skipper, but I need to get home.
Skipper: I’d be willing to help. But the only boat that can go out into open water is on Tyjo Island!
Lord Byzantine: Bah, well lets go find it then chap!
Skipper: Aye, lets take the canoe there.
Lord Byzantine: Lead the way!
(Lord Byzantine and Skipper enter a canoe and paddle off in the moonlight)
(Canoe crashes into the shore, time is morning)
Skipper: That was a rough ride eh?
(Lord Byzantine flops out of the canoe)
Lord Byzantine: Yeah, rough ride ;-;
Skipper: ah I was only joking with yah! Now lets find that boat! Lord Byzantine: Yeah lets go.
Lord Byzantine: Gah! Who are you people!
Blues: We are the Blues! We control this part of the island!
Lord Byzantine: Okay then, we mean no harm.
Blues: How do we know you aren’t red spies?
Lord Byzantine: Red spys? What are you talking about?
Blues: Lies! Tell us your secrets spies!
Skipper: Hey we just came from Shamoto Island, nobody was there except us!
Lord Byzantine: (whisper) I thought you said that you didn’t know what that island was called!
Skipper: (whisper) I didn’t remember until now.
Lord Byzantine: (whisper) well I hope it helps
Blues: Shamoto? The Reds have no dominion there. Come, we show you our war we fight!
Skipper: I don’t remember these people when I was last here.
Lord Byzantine: When were you last here?
Skipper A decade ago.
Lord Byzantine: Well, I guess you can’t leave anywhere for ten years without it going to hell
Blues: Here is our plight! We have not the might to break the evil Reds!
Lord Byzantine: So can you help us get a boat?
Blues: Impossible, we have no need of a navy. You will not convince us.
Lord Byzantine: But why not?
Blues: Baltics, Ghasians, Sirinians, Prus’ns, and Reds are all fools!
Lord Byzantine: Why do you think that?
Blues: They do not believe in Blue Berry God!
Lord Byzantine: So you hate them for it?
Blues: Yes! Let them bleed!
Lord Byzantine: Ookay
Skipper: You mind coming over here Byzantine?
Lord Byzantine: Not at all.
Skipper: (whisper) I don’t trust these people.
Lord Byzantine: (whispers) Me neither.
Skipper: (whispers) Lets ditch them.
Blues: Never go near Ghas! Lord Byzantine: (turns) why?
Blues: Ghas is evil, machine monsters!
Lord Byzantine: Um, have you ever tried TALKING, with you neighbors before?
Blues: Never! They are all bad! Not worship Blue Berry God!
Skipper: See my point?
Lord Byzantine: (turns to skipper) Lets run for it.
So Lord Byzantine and Skipper traveled as quickly as possible to the Ghas Blue border.
Blues: Stop! Heretics! Not worshipping Blue Berries!
Ghasian: Quick friend! Over the border!
(spears are throw at Skipper and Lord Byzantine)
Skipper: Were almost there mate!
(they leap over the border and hide behind some rocks just as spears are pelted at them)
Lord Byzantine: Argh!
Blues: HERATI- *zap*
(the Blues are zapped by an invisible electric field)
Ghastian: Welcome, I know it isn’t the most glorious way to enter our country but hey, at least you're alive.
Lord Byzantine: Yeah, you seem more reasonable than those other guys
Skipper: I’d say! The Blue guys were horrible.
Ghastian: Thanks, I guess. But there a few of us left.
Lord Byzantine: Why is that? You should be the top of the food chain!
Ghastian: Well our women…
Lord Byzantine: Where? I wanna-
Ghastian: Thats the problem, they’ve been taken.
Lord Byzantine: How horrible!
Skipper: Where were they taken?
Ghastian: We don’t know, and all the women were the ones who knew how most of our equipment worked!
Lord Byzantine: What do you mean?
Ghastian: Well the men in the country only learned some of the basic defence procedures for the country's defence. The women knew everything, and with our minimal knowledge I fear that the county will be overrun.
Lord Byzantine: I’ll help return the female population to you’re county!
Ghastian: Hah, I’d like to see you try.
Lord Byzantine: I will! Come Skipper!
Skipper: I think I’ll just stay here man.
Lord Byzantine: Oh, ok then.
Ghastian: Here if you’re gonna find the brains of this county you’re gonna need supplies to get through the death valley.
Lord Byzantine: Death valley?
Ghastian: Yeah the gray area on the map.
Lord Byzantine: Right. So were am I going?
Ghastian: To Prus! Now Go! Quickly before its too late!
(Lord Byzantine goes off on the adventure. His travel through the death valley is slow, he fight flying tentangle jellyfish. He also fights demon dust monsters each inch closer to Prus. Eventually he reaches the border) Lord Byzantine: Finally! I’m so tired of this walking!
(as Lord Byzantine arrives in Prus he sees lots of shady people staring at him and following him)
Lord Byzantine: Excuse me sir. But do you know where the ladies of Ghas are?
Citizen: I do...you must go to the shrine that is on the island east of here. I will give you a boat.
Lord Byzantine:Thank you.
Citizen: This way
(the city is eerily quiet as he follows the man docks and to the boat)
Lord Byzantine: Thank you.
(the city starts erupting in flames)
Lord Byzantine: Oh god! Whats going on?
Citizen: We’ve been subjugated by the Reds for too long. Its time for change.
Lord Byzantine: Good luck.
Citizen: To you too, and thank you.
Lord Byzantine: ...for What?
(Lord Byzantine watches as the Citizen turns and walks away)
Citizen: You’ll understand...one day.
After sailing for a few days Lord Byzantine steered his boat to the east, unfortunately he would not go east enough…for he would crash into the red occupied Sepurus Islands. A Fate worse then death for some. But Lord Byzantine was completely unaware of this.
Lord Byzantine: *sleeping*
(the boat washes up on dry land) Lord Byzantine: This looks like a fine place for the ladies-
Lord Byzantine: Oh sweet jesus.
Reds: TIME TO DIE.
Lord Byzantine: You asked for it.
(Lord Byzantine strikes two Reds down with his powers. The other two flee.)
Lord Byzantine: Ugh. When will I get off this island?
(Lord Byzantine climbs up the hill and sees a Red encampment)
Lord Byzantine: Well. Might as well. We all know this is the best strategy.
And so, Lord Byzantine charged the encampment. His blade sliced each one of his foes, he sliced the ones who jumped at him in half he cleaved through his foes. Oh, did I mention he has a katana?
However, a great storm gathered and Lord Byzantine was struck with THE QUICKINGING! *cough* no, but he was stuck by lighting. Gasping from the shock (pun!) of the strike he collapsed to the ground and faded into unconsciousness. Normally the writer would make this when the character is vulnerable. But not this writer. A giant storm struck just as LB had attacked the camp. Now that it was in full swing. It would tear everything apart. And with a flash Lord Byzantine disappeared.
Waking up, Lord Byzantine was stunned to see he was no longer in the camp he had been in last night. Although this was rather problematic for getting home. Getting lost again. Well nice going Byzantine, you screwed up even more Royally then before. Now before I keep monologuing where am I-?” THWAK Lord Byzantine: OW. Ghastian Ladies: Thanks alot “hero” Lord Byzantine: huh? Ghastian Ladies: We kicked some ass and freed ourselves while you slept! You’re terrible at your job!
Writer: *looks up* Nah, thats totally not a double meaning.
Lord Byzantine: Well I tried I guess. (the ghastian ladies began making boats out of pinecones cause der merry sues.) Lord Byzantine: Well I guess I better- (Byzantine sees the portal) Lord Byzantine: Whoa. Lord Byzantine: *pokes* Lord Byzantine: Well might as well go in. BLAAAHRGH.
(Lord Byzantine arrives on the other end of the portal)
???: *evil laughter* Lord Byzantine: Who is ye? ???: Who I am is unimportant. What i’ve done is whats important! Lord Byzantine: What have you done? ???: I’ve trapped you here! On this set of islands! You’re boat will never lead you away from here! Lord Byzantine: Why not? ???: NO QUESTIONS!
(Lord Byzantine then is teleported to Ghas) Lord Byzantine: Well crap! What am I suppose to do now? (ghas women arrive) Lord Byzantine: Oh great, what do you want? Ghas Lady 1: nothing. Here take this cool rocket ship. Lord Byzantine: Why? Ghas Lady 2: You cause a revolution in Prus of course! That helped us get back home! Lord Byzantine: But I didn’t do anything! Ghas Lady 1: You did. You-
The rocket was launched, he bounced across the area he wasn’t able to make it past the huge sea that surrounded the islands.
(then the rocket exploded through the air into the void were Lord Byzantine was moments earlier.) The rocket conveniently crashed into the villian killing him.
???: You’ve killed me! Lord Byzantine: Good. After Byzantine has done this the barriers were lifted. the storm clouds also lifted, the war between Red and Blue ended, and he was finally able to escape back to the US.
Lord Byzantine: Well. I’m glad thats over. I wonder what Skippers doing.
Skipper: Hey ladies, you wanna groove with the master of bang bang? Random hot Chick: Oh yeah!
Lord Byzantine: Oh you sonofa-