| "Fifth Grade"
|| February 8, 2014
|| Mr Pookie
| Episode guide
Fifth Grade is the first episode of The Pizza Show. It aired on February 8, 2014 at 7:00 PM on Nicktoons.
Slice and the gang start fifth grade, but things get chaotic when aliens break in during a speech from the police.
- Narrator (heard)
- Man on TV (cameo)
- Mrs Derp
- Bouncer (cameo)
(The episode begins with Cucumber flicking through channels on the TV)
Cucumber: Let's see. Nickelodeon, nope. Cartoon Network, nope. Barbie Channel... More of Slice's thing. Seizure channel, (has seizure) Poop channel, nope. Ah, here it is! Word clock channel!
(The world clock reads 8:57. Cucumber's eyes turn to dots.)
Cucumber: SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE! WHY DOES MY CLOCK SAY 8:57? SLIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!
(Scene changes to Slice in his room listening to "Barbie Girl")
Slice: Dang. You caught me singing Barbie Girl at 5:57 again.
Cucumber: WE'RE LATE!
Slice: Uh oh, were you watching "World Clock Channel -3 Hours Channel" again?
(Cucumber's eyes turn to dots again)
Cucumber: Do I always do that?
(Cucumber goes to sleep)
Narrator: 2 and a half hours later
(Pepperoni is watching TV)
Man On TV: Get happy NOW with Happy Potion!
Pepperoni: Pffft. Scam. Let's look that up in the internet.
(Screen changes to Pepperoni typing in "Happy Potion")
Computer Voice: Loading...
Computer Voice: Sorry, no Italian songs with that title.
Cucumber: Well, time to go.
(Crust is still asleep. Slice punches him, causing him to wake up)
Crust: Ah, jeez! What was that for?
Pepperoni: WE HAVE TO GO!
(During the next sentence, the title and opening credits start showing)
Crust: OK, OK, as soon as I've brushed my teeth, cleaned my sunglasses, showered, fake tanned, had breakfast, had brunch, had a mid-brunch snack, brushed my-
(Slice puts police tape around Crust's mouth and handcuffs him. They all leave)
Narrator: Something like 6 minutes, 43 seconds and 452-and-a-half milliseconds later
(Scene cuts to a bell ringing. The screen then zooms out to reveal Pizza Country Middle School. The gang walk in)
Pepperoni: OK, I think we'll get-
Slice: Ssh. We got told this 16 seconds ago, and besides, whoever created this weird show does that in all his pilots.
Crust: Stop breakin' the fourth wall!
Slice: You just freaking broke it even more!
Crust: Stop, you're gonna break the fifth wall!
Slice: YOU JUST DID BREAK IT!
(Crust and Slice continue to argue)
Cucumber: I like turd.
Narrator: This may take a while.
(Scene cuts to their class door. The gang are outside it.)
Slice: OK, here we go!
(Slice opens the door, revealing a huge, devil-like woman wearing only a bra)
The Gang: *girly scream*
Teacher: I love Satan.
Cheese: Wow, what a... creative woman!
Slice: She's red and fat. She's in love with Satan. She wants to kill everyone. All she wears is a bra. She has multi-coloured hands and legs. Despite that, she has beautiful hair.
Teacher: Thank you, I'm Mrs Derp! GET YOUR FAT BUTTS OVER HERE OR I'LL THROW THIS HIPPO AT YOU!
(They all run away except Cucumber. Mrs Derp throws a hippo at him.)
Mrs Derp: I warned you.
(Scene cuts to the class sitting while Mrs Derp writes on a chalkboard)
Mrs Derp: Ok children, just do this one simple problem.
(She walks away, and the chalkboard has an incredibly long, confusing, hard math sum)
Mrs Derp: It should only take you 15 hours.
(Timecard: 15 hours later)
(The screen shows a dancing racoon)
(Scene then shows the class again)
Slice: Has anyone written anything?
Cucumber: I have!
(Scene shows Cucumber's page which is full of scribbles and crude pictures)
Random Classmate: I have a solution! SUICIDE! (falls to the floor)
(Everyone else falls to the floor. The bell rings, and everyone springs back up and run away cheering)
(Crust and Slice are on a see-saw)
Crust: So, what's going on?
Slice: Um... everything's fine, I guess.
Crust: Cool, cool.
(The scene then shows Cucumber climbing a lampost)
Cucumber: I'M KING OF THE WORLD! (falls) No, I'm not. (hits ground). Ow.
(Timecard: Around 25 minutes of those two things repeated later)
Code: bold = purple text and blue text (usually with italics as well if purple text), italics = singing and green text (usually with [#] if singing), underlined = yellow text, none = white text
THESE SUBTITLES ARE ONLY IN WHITE TEXT. THIS IS BECAUSE THE SUBTITLES ARE SUPPOSED TO MOVE TO THE PERSON WHO'S TALKING.
Let's see. Nickelodeon? Nope. Cartoon Network?
Nope. Barbie channel... more of Slice's thing.
Seizure channel? Poop channel? Nope.
Ah, here it is! Word clock channel!
Why does my clock say 5:57 and not 8:57?! Sli-i-i-ice!
Dang. You caught me singing "Barbie Girl" at 5:57 again.
Uh-oh, were you watching that minus-three world clock channel again?
Do I always do that?
Scam. Let's look that up in the internet.
Well, time to go.
- On the first airing, when Pepperoni was surprised at the computer, he had red eyes. They were changed to blue in reruns as the red eyes scared younger viewers.
- When Pepperoni is surprised at the computer, the mouse is not connected to anything. This was fixed in reruns.
- Slice states when he sees Mrs Derp that "she wants to kill everyone", despite the fact that she never mentioned anything about that.
Cucumber looking for the World Clock channel on TV, with an Xbox and a picture of Pepperoni in the background.
Slice explaning to Cucumber that he was watching the World Clock Channel -3 Hours along with everyone else sleeping
A close up of the World Clock Channel, along with half of the picture of Pepperoni.
The "2 Hours Later" timecard.
Pepperoni searching for the "Happy Potion" online.
Pepperoni watching the ad for "Happy Potion".
The original surprised Pepperoni.
Pepperoni surprised at the computer on reruns.
Cucmber falls from the lampost.